Another week has gone by and I prepare myself to write a anecdote about the world of events. What follows is just the type of gut-wrenching, world-changing excitement that comes from being an event coordinator. Brace yourselves. I warn you now that you have never read a story quite like this.

Sunday: Once again I am faced with the task of exercising my fingers as opposed to my biceps, my mind instead of my chest. I made a pact with myself and my Brother in Law that I would get as big as Marky-Mark Wahlberg if not by Christmas, then just after. Not Marky Mark when he was in the Funky Bunch or doing the Calvin Klein ads. (That is just too big. No one who has a job and a life outside of the gym can look like 'The Governator' all the time) I am thinking Marky-Mark as he appears playing Vince Papale of the Philadelphia Eagles in the film "Invincible". Some poetic license had to be taken in that role. Papale is over six foot and I think Mark is about five foot, maybe five foot three if you stood him on a box and he is just massive. Shorter people just seem to get bigger faster than not-so-short people. This is not a fact, this is just something I have noticed. Anyway. If you saw the film, my goal is to get a little more buff like Marky. Sadly, I am lucky to get to the gym twice a week. I am okay with that so far, because I have been working out my mind (and my fingers) more than I have in the last year and I think that counts for something. I promise to keep you all informed as to my Marky-Mark Status. You wont care, but I will tell you anyway.

On to something book related. I have finished the ordering and tracking of ALL the books for our big University Club Book Fair coming up on November 29. After several additions and subtractions, the "Committee" has sent me a final list and the books are all sitting in boxes in our secret distribution center waiting to be delivered on the day of the event. We will have around forty authors chained to desks with pens super-glued to their fingers. Piles of their books will be stacked in front of them and you, the general public, will be allowed to come to the event, ask the authors questions and have them sign their books. Think of all the Holiday gifts you can get out of the way in one fell swoop. Please don't feel bad about us having authors chained to desks. Authors are kept in this manner by editors all over America. As there is no such thing as PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Authors) some authors are kept in rather shoddy environments and forced to endure some very nasty things. Things I have only read about in Dave Barry columns. I will have to assume that Dave is an authority on the treatment of authors given that he is one and works in Miami. I believe he is starting a new charity to provide comfy chairs to authors and if he isn't he will be soon.

So if you are out and about on November 29th and feel the desire to either A) mock authors chained to chairs with pens glued on their hands or B) rid yourself of the Holiday shopping burden in one step, stop in and say hello. I have toiled away for many a long hour ordering the books for this event and saying "no" to hundreds of very famous people who wanted to be invited. I wont bother to drop the names here, it would only embarrass the people I was forced to turn away. I will say that a wedding in Europe was moved forward one week to make attending our event possible. I can't say anymore about it, so please don't ask me. I had to promise to stick the knowledge in my Vault. I will be at the event though (I have to get there early to secure the writers and to glue pens to fingers) and those of you who know the combination to my mental vault can dial it in and maybe I will spill the beans.

(Editor's note: I was fact checking this blog to make sure no one got sued over anything and noticed a few minor errors. Marky Mark is five foot eight and one half inches according to his bio on IMDB.com. Dave Barry does live in Miami and according to his web page, is a part time presidential candidate. This may or may not leave time for a new charity. Finally, the wedding that was moved forward was the Garland/Williams wedding in Romford and was moved to make the honeymoon tickets cheeper from Expedia and because there was a sale as Marks and Spencer the next week.)

--Blogger's Note. I am actually the editor so I wrote all of this.--