Good News!
Our dear friend Chris--The one that got smooshed by the car in last week's blog--is home from the hospital. He is stuffed into a back brace and looks like that kid at school with a touch of Scoliosis (sans head gear). He is shuffling around the condo with the aid of a walker--No giggles, please--and feeling a little better every day. Thanks to everyone who wrote in to wish him well.

On to things. It is Monday night and I have just returned home from a nice little event at Crystal City. I conducted a Question and Answer session with our friend Eric Nuzum. It was part of a Halloween tastings event with the food being supplied by Chef Roberto Donna's new restaurant, Bebo Trattoria. We had three different pies to try that were all great. I tried the broccoli and sausage--I am getting very bad at this vegetarian thing--and thought it was lovely. The only thing missing was a huge dark beer or big glass of red wine. . .Drool. Right. What? Sorry, I faded away there for a second--Something about a book. . .Pizza, Crystal City, Eric Nuzum, Okay, I have it now. I moderated questions from a very interested audience of 15 or so people. Colby Hartburg was on hand to film the event for the nice folks at Verizon and Bethanne Patrick made another appearance on a school night. (That wily book maven, all the time sneaking out on school nights.) We sold a few books and attempted to raise the public awareness about the poor vampires in the DC area. All proceeds for the event went toward starving booksellers and I would like to personally thank everyone that came out and bought a book. After the Questions were all answered and the books were all signed, I whisked Eric away to Union Station so he could catch his train to NY. The man is like a Publicity Machine.

So that was the good stuff that happened last week, anyone interested in what might be going on next week? Tough. There is nothing cool going on next week. Ha!

Okay. That might be a lie. There is one cool thing going on next week. Maybe two things. First up is the super cool lunchtime signing at our Lansburgh store by the most beloved hard-drinking, travel writer America has produced in years. Anthony Bourdain. That's right. Right here in DC. I am certain he will be everything you have seen on television complete with the Aura of freshly smoked cigarettes floating about him. You can't get that unless you have smell-a-vision. Lansburgh store starting at 12 noon and going until he runs away from all you wailing fans.

What is that you say? You aren't a fan of smoking and drinking foodie travel writer that happens to be the Executive chef of Les Halles. (Have you had the chips there? Excellent! I mean Chips like the English, not crisps.)

Perhaps you have a bit more delicate sensibilities. Perhaps you are more suited to another event we are having about town. Perhaps you are the type of person who is excited by the fact that a new book is coming out this week. The first ever authorized sequel (prequel?) to Margaret Mitchell's little book, "Gone With the Wind" has been released by Saint Martin's Press and we are celebrating by having a launch party.

What sort of place could be Southern enough in DC to host such an event? Where else? The Lyceum in Alexandria. Huge Georgian Columns, cool marble floors, grand sweeping staircases the only thing missing will be the roar of cannon fire and the cry of wounded Yankees. If anyone wants to make a dress out the drapes and wear it to the event, I think that would be okay with everyone.

Really though, this is the first ever book, authorized by the Mitchell family, that tells a bit more of the story surrounding Rhett and Scarlet. The book is called "Rhett Butler's People" and is being written by the estimable Donald McCaig. He will be at the event reading sections from the book and answering your questions. Think of this as Harry Potter for grown-ups, except with bombs, guns, blood, violence and sexual tension.

We would love to see you out at the Lyceum if you can make it out. If you can't make it to that event, please look around at our event calendar and see if there is anything else you might be interested. If you have a friend who isn't on our list, drag them to the bash as well. No need to dress up, we like you just the way you are.

Halloween is getting close and in honor of that great day, the day of sending your kids out into the world to beg for food, I would like to take a moment and talk to you all about the most scary and dangerous place on Earth. I am not talking any place you might find on Survivorman - although, I have been watching that show and man is it ever good! One man and a camera, out in the wilderness teaching you how to get on in the wild. I am certain I could make it for days in the wilderness without help. - I am talking about a different scary place. The place I am talking about? The crosswalk. That little flashing white guy (In England, it is a Green Man) who lets you know it is okay to step out into traffic. Some crossings are not cool enough to have a little guy. But they do have this great sign in the middle that says "Stop for Pedestrians in the crosswalk. State law." Or some other intimidating phrase.

You would think things like a big sign in the middle of the painted lines or a shiny, red light that tells you to stop before proceeding would prevent cars from running into people as they cross. It doesn't. In fact, some cars are so busy getting to work or getting home that they run right into pedestrians or cyclists who are just trying to get to the other side. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have almost been clipped by a very busy car as it zipped through the crosswalk. I was in the middle of the crosswalk and according to the sign (and the law) I should be safe as houses. Not true. Because a car was in a hurry and I was not in it's immediate path, I got buzzed by the car with a foot to spare. Zoom! I have started carrying an open water bottle with me when I cross, that way when I get buzzed like that, I can splash a little water on the diver's window. Maybe shock them into seeing I am in the crosswalk. It will probably just get me punched in the chin.

Have you wondered yet why I am rambling about crosswalks? On Sunday evening, on the way to his house, one of our good friends was clipped by a car going 40 + miles an hour through a yellowish/red light. I don't know all the details at this point other than he is now the proud owner of a broken ankle, a fractured lower vertebra, lots of pretty bruises and a mangled bike. He had his helmet on so his pumpkin wasn't smooshed, but he is still messed up pretty good. Not only is Chris a friend, he is our music buyer! He is okay, thank goodness, but I am not certain how long we will be without him. I imagine you are out of work for a bit when you break your ankle and probably more so when you break your back. Get better Callahan! We will hold down the fort until you get back. We might even clean your office up for you. - Oh, and if you let me know the name of the person who hit you, I know a couple of guys. ~Nudge, nudge, wink-wink~

Aside from a busted Callahan, there are some real events going on out there in the world next week. The best of which I will be attending, and you should too. Monday night - keep those groans to your selves - at the lovely and fabulous Crystal City store, I will be hosting an extended Question and Answer session with NPR reporter, author of "The Dead Travel Fast", and long-time vampire hunter - a modern-day Van Helsing - Mr. Eric Nuzum.

I will be interviewing Mr. Nuzum in an attempt to find out why we feel the way we do about Vampires. You may remember Eric from his appearance at the Wonderland Ballroom where lots of alcohol was consumed, confetti was thrown about and a strange recorded phone call between Eric and his Gran was played. (It was a good time.) If you missed Eric at the first of the month and are looking for something fun to do to help you kick off your Halloween week, come out to Crystal City. The nice folks at Bebo Tratoria are providing food, Eric and I will chat, we will take questions from the crowd and you can come dressed as the undead if you like. If you work in that area and are coming from work, you will probably feel that way and that should be close enough.

To recap, Halloween is coming up and we all know how dangerous it is to cross the roads as proven by our own Chris Callahan. Keep an eye out for those vicious automobiles, they can strike at anytime. If you are trick or treating with your kids, keep them close and look both ways. If you are trick or treating with your inebriated friends, keep them close and look both ways. If you are out on Monday night in the Arlington area, swing by Crystal City and try some great food from Bebo and learn why we love Vampires so much direct from the man who has hunted them for so long, Eric Nuzum. (Check the event calendar for the time of this and other events...)

Editor's notes: To be fair, Eric isn't really a Vampire hunter. To our knowledge, he has never staked a Vampire in the chest, doused one with holy water, or even tossed garlic at one. He is more like the Jane Goodall of vampires. He has made an effort to get close to and live among these beautiful creatures in their natural habitats. He is trying to raise the awareness of the Vampire in our culture and to dispel some of the myths that swirl around them. Eric Nuzum is a warrior for the cause of the Vampire. Bless you Eirc Nuzum. Long live the undead!

Please also note, that I never said anything about people in the cars, just the cars. I am a firm believer that people are all sweetness and light and it is the act of putting them inside an auto that corrupts them into vile, red-light-rushing savages, with one hand on the horn and one foot on each pedal. Take them out of the car and they will hold the door for you, smile, say hello and have a nice day. It has to be the car that makes them evil. Has to be. We know the cars make you back in to parking places so other cars can't sneak up on them. Cars must be paranoid sociopaths. Why else would they act the way they do. And why do some of them have such loud exhausts?

In a perfect world, our Web-master needs our blogs to be finished by noon on Wednesday. Normally, I am ahead of the curve and have mine finished on Tuesday. This Tuesday I was out working an event at the Sonoma Wine Bar for Kelly DiNardo and didn't get home until late. The event was great and I was happy to be there but my blog might suffer this week because of it. Good thing there was wine.

This week is more or less over, so I will skip to next week and give you a run down of what is going on. Okay. I will mention one thing going on this week and then get on to the rest of the goodies. The Smithsonian is hosting an event at Lisner on Friday for a presidential hopeful. That hopeful has just put out a book and we will be selling it at the event for him. I know for a fact that the evening is sold out and there are no more tickets available, so if you don't know what I am talking about, you should hit your favorite night spot and stay out of the Lisner area. If you have tickets for the show and don't buy a book from me, I am going to come over the wall and tickle you until you wet your pants.

On to next week. For the literary out there, there is a new translation of the greatest love story ever out right now. The authors of this new translation are a husband and wife team that have just landed in the states from Paris. If you have ever been curious about Tolstoy's novel, War and Peace, this translation is a great one. Dupont Circle is playing host to the translating duo and they will talk about the process of maintaining the integrity of a story when switching from Russian to English. Anyone who has put together a flat pack piece of furniture knows how hard that really is. -- Using heavy Monkey tool. Strangle bolt 'C' until finished -- I have sent an invitation out to the Russian Embassy and with any luck, there will be some great discussion. Monday night, 7 pm.

Anyone give a crap about the environment? Yeah, me either. Okay, maybe I do a little. If you like the planet we live on, there is a great event going on in the Penn Quarter. Jay Inslee and Bracken Hendricks wrote a little book called Apollo's Fire and would love you to come out and be on the forefront of this new energy revolution. If you were at the Solar Decathlon last weekend, if you care about America's energy independence, this is your event. Word on the street is there will be an introduction by a famousy political person. Might be worth it just to see that. Tuesday Night, 7 pm.

I might be getting a little long-winded in talking about book events. What kind of blog do I think this is? Sheesh. Stick with me for a couple more paragraphs.

Wednesday night (or Ckwednesday night) will be Ricochet at Dupont Circle. A long time ago a nice your man worked as a lobbyist for the NRA. He has uncovered some interesting tidbits about where all that money has gone off to. If you every thought guns were bad or if you are a firm supporter of gun control, you should enjoy this event. I know you can pack heat in the District now, but please don't bring along any visual aids. Well, we haven't had any huge excitement at Dupont for a while, bring 'em on down. Keep the bullets at home though. 7 pm.

Thursday night! (This is the big one!) Every store has something going on! I will just list them out for you because There are so many of them and I am certain you are bored by now.

Old Town Alexandria: Bitter Friends, Bosom Enemies. If you read the paper, you should be there. Iran and the U.S. Need I say more? Brought to you by the Virginia Writers Assoc.

Crystal City: A tastings extravaganza with everyone's favorite pastry chef, Roland Mesnier. There will be snacks and a chat with Roland who is a VERY funny man. He has loads of stories about his time in the White House and a lovely French accent.

Lansburgh: Schulz and Peanuts, a Biography. Charles M. Schulz poured his life into those line drawing kids. The author worked for ages on this book and leaves nothing out. The Schulz family isn't exactly happy with his final product, so it should be a GREAT book. You should get one for the Charlie Brown Lover in your life. The cover alone makes it worth while. -- If anyone was wondering, I named my liver after Linus from the Peanuts... That might be a longer story than will fit right here.

And last, but for certain not least...

Dupont Circle: Gilded Lili, by my friend Kelly DiNardo. Kelly has written Biography of one of the original beautiful trainwrecks. If you find Britney and Li-Lo fascinating and yet shallow, come hear about Lili and how she was living the life WELL before the flash in the pan starlets of today but with a bit more depth to her character. Maybe Lindsey and Britney should come out and hear Kelly speak. -- You listening out there Britt? I know you ain't got nothin' goin' on now that you don't have them kids. Come on out to Dupont and get some education. One of our staff will let you bum smokes off of them.

Sorry about that, you have to speak Southern to them sometimes. That is the breakdown of the next week, should be a little something for everyone. Get out there to a book event and get some culture in your life. You can all go out drinking after you buy a book. Remember, I can only bring you book events if you buy the books. When you don't buy books, you make baby Jesus cry.

First off, let me say thank you to everyone who wrote in about last week's blog. I was thinking I would hear from angry people and all I heard was positive feedback. Thank you to everyone who wrote in. Especially to Maggie Fagan and her friend.

I was trying to come up with something fun to rant about again this week and I figured I shouldn't push my luck. Keeping that in mind, I am going to talk about an event. Not just any event, a pretty big event. So, everyone. Follow me! To the next paragraph!

Well. Here we are at the next paragraph and to be perfectly honest, it isn't that exciting. I might have lied to you a little. I'm sorry. It might GET more exciting though. What if I told you two words. Two words that strike a chord in the heart of every sensitive 33 year old male. Those two words? Nick Hornby. Oh, I said it. Nick Hornby, author of such wonderful books as "About a Boy", "Fever Pitch", "Long Way Down", and my personal favorite, "High Fidelity". Of the books I have mentioned, I know you have seen at least two of them as films. The reason I know you have to have seen as least two of the films? "Fever Pitch" was made into a film twice. Once as "Fever Pitch" and once as "The Perfect Catch", and "About a Boy" was a film as well as a TV series. Of course, "High Fidelity" was made into a great film staring John Cusack, Jack Black, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lisa Bonet, Todd Louiso and loads of others. I even keep the Jack Black version of "Lets Get It On" on my iPod.

- A Cusack aside - Everyone knows that if you hire one Cusack, you hire all the Cusacks. High Fidelity has four Cusacks in it. I think that might be all of them, but I could be wrong. I wouldn't be surprised to see an all Cusack film in the future. Oh, You wacky Cusacks. What you might NOT know is MOST Cusack films will have a dash of Jeremy Piven in them. But not this one. For fun, go to IMDB and look up Cusack and Piven. I found 10 films that the two have worked together on. I suppose it pays to have friends. If you have a friend who is an "Actor", hang on to them (loosely) because some day they might be mildly famous and start asking you to be in films with them.

Is it obvious I like the film? I enjoyed the book just as much. I have enjoyed all of Nick's work actually. Is there another author out there who can put together a book about potential suiciders who meet up on the top of building on the night they are going to jump, make it interesting and have it sell over 200,000 copies. I think those are just US numbers because Nick is very popular in his home country.

Speaking of that, Nick and I worked an event together once before. For the hardcover of Long Way Down. He signed my copy of High Fidelity. I think it was the first time I have been a little starstuck with an author. Pam Anderson, nothing - but put me around Nick Hornby and I get all giggly like a wee girl.

Did I let the cat out of the bag? Have you figured it out? NICK HORNBY is coming to LANSBURGH! Woo Hoo! October 17th Nick will be reading from and signing his new Young Adult Novel, "Slam". I read the book a while back as an advance (actually as a manuscript), and really enjoyed it. I won't get all preachy, but if you have an early teenager in your house, you should pass this book off to them. Not in a pushy, "You have to read this" way, but in a "this is good book you might like" way. Recommending books is Alexis' job, so I will leave that to her. My job is to tell you about events and this one should be a doozy. Last time he was in town we sold a ton of books and everyone had a grand time. Lansburgh on the 17th, 7pm. Come early as we will be handing out numbers. I will be there to keep you all from getting too crazy.

Right, back to the day to day of answering my 500 emails a day. I got my voice mail down to 80 last night but it has probably built up while I was at the coffee maker.

I will keep my eyes open for more exciting things to talk about next week.
Everyone have a good weekend!

Editor's note: The "Two Words" quote is stolen from Dave Grohl in a cover of Tiny Dancer. Thanks Dave!

The numbers of Long Way Down sold are a vauge guess based on Publishers Weekly sales figures from 2006. I imagine they have gone up from there.

I was trying to come up with something new and exciting to write about for this week. While I come up with that, please allow me to tell you about this odd thing I saw in front of my building the other night.

As I was coming home at the end of another long day, I was turning left into my parking structure when I noticed a nice big Harley parked across the street. My headlights swept the massive beast from forks to tail lights, and it looked like every other hog in the District with one exception. This one had a handicapped license plate. I was so struck by the idea that I brought my car to screeching (If you can screech going 5 miles an hour) halt.

Handicapped? Yep. Motorcycle? Again, yep. Double checking my facts to see if my tired eyes were playing tricks on me didn't change things. I was looking at a motorcycle with a disabled plate. In my head, I started to go through the list of things that qualify you for a handicap plate. Deaf? Maybe. Blind? Certainly. Paraplegic, quadriplegic, epileptic, diabetic, tragically overweight, what is it that qualifies you for disability tags, but still allows you to pass the motorcycle test? I was so curious that I had to look up the requirements for getting a little wheelchair guy on your plate. Here is what I found.

If you are "missing lower extremity or are unable to walk without the aid of motorized wheelchair", you are good to go. Although, if you were missing the lower half of you, I am certain that running the rear brake and the shifting action would be a little tough. Not to mention staying on the bike in the event of, say, a turn. And what are you going to do when the bike stops moving? Gyroscopic action will keep it upright while it is rolling, but when bikes stop, they tend to fall over. The motorized wheelchair thing is out too. If you have one of those, you could just get it souped up and drive it around town. No need to blow $30,000 on a Harley. So what else?

Next on the list is, "Has applicant lost the use of one (1) or both legs? " (I am quoting off the DC DMV site) One leg I think you could do okay. If you lost both, you are right back up to not having 'lower extremity' and would fly off the bike in corners and have trouble holding the bike up at stop lights, not to mention the shifting thing. So, one leg = good. Both legs = not so good.

As an aside. I watched the episode of American Chopper where they built this cool custom trike for a guy who was in a chair. The bike (trike) was cool when it was finished, tricked out with an automatic transmission, reverse, custom tractor style seat (complete with seat belt) and foot beds with Velcro strips to keep the dude's feet in place. Very cool. (I cried on the reveal of the bike cause the guy was so happy. Man, I am sappy.)

"Is the applicant severely disabled and unable to walk without the aid of a mechanical device? Note: Mechanical device includes wheelchair, walker, crutches, cane and long leg braces." I think this might be the one. My flaw with this one should be pretty obvious. Where are you going to store your walker or wheelchair when you are riding? You might need a little trailer for your "mechanical aid". A cane or the leg braces would still work, while crutches might be a little trying but so far, this is a the winner.

"Does the applicant suffer from a respiratory disease or ailment?" -- There is a paragraph of explanation after this, but the site won't let me cut and paste from it and I am too lazy too type it all in while toggling back and forth between the two windows. Sorry. Just a fact. -- So if you have asthma, you could get the disabled tags and maybe emphysema. They would still work because you could wear a backpack with your Oxygen tank in it. I still think you wouldn't want anyone who couldn't really breathe hurtling down the freeway at 70 plus miles an hour. What if a bug went in their mouth? If you can't cough that sucker up, you could be in for a world of hurt. The bug might not be that well off either.

The last one makes it for sure, "Does the applicant have a physical disability that is long-term and substantially impairs the individual's mobility?" I see this as the catch all clause. You could have nothing really wrong with you except being 500 pounds -- Really though, if you are that big, you probably have loads of other problems -- and you could still get a motorcycle license. Like those two guys that held the record for fattest guys on the smallest motorcycles.

Okay, after further examination and much scrutiny, you could pretty much have anything and be able to get Disability tags. Fair enough. The only thing left to do is figure out what needs to be done to get a motorcycle permit. I might be running out of ramble space, so I will have to look in to that in the future. You think there are any events coming up I should talk about?

What if I tell you about two and let you pick. First up is a very cool little book by a very cool author. The book is called "Smart Girls Like Me" and the Author is Diane Vadino. Diane is a Brooklyn based writer (a lot of them are now days) who has been pounding out articles for a number of years. Google her name and see how many hits you get. Diane used to work for those nice kids at McSweeney's along with being the brains behind bunnyshop.org, senior contributing editor at Spin and editor at Surface. Her work can be seen in Nylon, Allure, ReadyMade, Jane, Seventeen and all over the internet. I even found a little bit she wrote about Mountain Biking and too much Testosterone. The people on that web site are trying to find her. She is one of their "Lost Authors".

Anyway, her new book is called Smart Girls Like Me, and she is touring the entire country (At least one event per state) for this book. We are lucky to have her for two separate events, in two separate states, at two different stores! Her first reading will be in our Dupont Circle Location on October 9th at 7pm. Her second will be in the ultra-hip, Courthouse Locale on the following day. (Oct. 10th, 7pm)

From what I have read of her work, Diane is not to be trifled with. If I were you, I would come out to one (or both) of these events and hear the words of this confident young woman.

Editor's Note:
The blogger above pulled all the questions about Disability plates directly off of the Washington DC DMV website. Any angry missives about handicapped plates on motorcycles should keep that in mind. If you have these plates on your bike, ride on! But can you please explain the whole thing to him? He gets confused easy.

Oh, and The DC site has Extremity spelled "Extrimity".